the intersection of life and grace

Shhh… this is a sneak peak of one of the videos from Youth Specialties upcoming National Youth Workers Conventions. I’ve watched it a few times already because, well, it managed to collect the range of feelings and even hit some common issues a great many youth workers face all year long… in under 2.5 minutes.

Take a look:

I look forward to youth ministry conventions all year long. I’ve had the privilege to attend both the YS and SYM/Group gatherings, which are both great quality, distinct events that I hope all youth workers have the opportunity to experience. In the coming days, I’ll share some of the reasons why I think conventions are important to a youth workers’ annual schedule.

You may have heard that Facebook is improving things again. This time, it isn’t a re-design of your home page; it’s a re-design of your privacy.  I’m not an expert, and I’m certainly not shy about sharing who I am and what I’m about, but I think, this time, Facebook has it wrong.  Why? Two reasons:

1. Facebook didn’t give users an option to protect their information – it’s connect on their terms or delete at least some of your information.
2. Facebook didn’t make a key new change, called “Instant Personalization”, an opt-in feature. Meaning, unless you change the setting yourself, your profile information is available to sites outside Facebook in order to allow them to serve you their own content based on your interests (as presented on Facebook by your likes, connections, personal data, etc.).

In the latest version, Facebook is helping us be more social by sharing the information we each added to our “Info” tab fields with others who have the same information. You may have no objection to this because you added that information to share with your Facebook Friends. It is the premise behind social networking, after all, isn’t it? Find people with whom we have common interests and get to know one another. I think Facebook’s intention is to enhance the social experience, and I agree there may be networking value there but I don’t want it forced on me.

With this update, Facebook is making connections for us by connecting everyone who lists a band, a movie, a book, a school, a town, a workplace, and so on, to one another by default.  Not as a Friend, but through Pages. If it hasn’t happened yet, you’ll likely soon be greeted with a request to convert your profile. It isn’t optional, but you can choose with which pages you’d like to connect. Be aware, the ones you choose to omit with have their corresponding entry deleted from your profile. In addition, there are instances wherein community pages for an entry will be created, but the concept isn’t fully fleshed out. Read Facebook’s description of these connections here.

For example, my “Work” entry stated I’m the owner of Verbitude, which is my DBA name for my writing, coaching and speaking work. When Facebook connected me based on the word Verbitude, it made me wonder, since I concocted it a while back and Google returned 0 results for it at the time.  There are no other employees, so I clicked to find out what happened. The connection? A spoken word and slam poetry event. Really, Facebook, you couldn’t have done better with that? Fun with keywords 101.

Instant Personalization could  seem like a natural extension of the existing “Facebook Connect” feature which allows websites outside Facebook to let you log-in to their site to comment, for example, without creating a site-specific username.  However, Facebook is now making specific sites privy to your information and interactions unless you opt out. There are only a few now, but I expect that to increase since it has huge marketing upside. I don’t mind a website technology that uses my information wisely. I do mind my information being given away without my choosing to do so.

What did I do? I allowed most of my information to be deleted, and will add back those details as I better understand how that works “in everyday use”. It needed updating anyway, most of that info has been there since I joined the site years ago.

There is a lot about the internet many people don’t understand; in my opinion, these changes take advantage of that. My recommendation? Don’t connect online beyond your understanding and comfort level. Take some time to read Facebook’s Terms of Service (you had to agree to them to join, but they change and maybe you didn’t read them in the first place). After that, go to your Facebook account menu, click on privacy, and go through each section to ensure that your information is being used and displayed in a manner you choose.

People watching is an integral part of my life. I’m keenly interested in how people interact with one another across lines of belief and culture. I notice details that many don’t, or at least never speak about.  I can’t turn this habit off, nor do I think I’d want to even though it frequently leads me to frustration. I’d prefer it more often led me to action.

One of the common threads woven into the fabric of those interactions which most often lead me to that place of frustration is when there is a distinct lack of respect displayed between people or groups.  It happens in such a wide array of venues – from politics to comedy to religion to schools – that giving respect may be a lost art.

Quite a few people I know would functionally define respect as “let me do my own thing, you do yours, and we won’t bother each other.” In this context, it is disrespectful to place an expectation, enforce a common rule, confront an injustice, or even simply acknowledge authority. I can see places in my life, and in my own walk of faith, where I have been guilty of applying this false definition of respect. I want to do better.

It’s possible that the true definition of the kind of respect to which I’m referring is lost.  I’ll clarify. I’m writing specifically of respect which gives consideration to another’s situation, idea or point-of-view, simply because it comes from another human being. In addition, respect holds that other person in esteem first – not only after it has been earned.  It doesn’t mean endorsing or agreeing.

Let me speak, for a moment, to the Church. In biblical terms, respect is 100% about seeking and serving the image of God in every human being; it means loving the sinner as we sinners are loved; it means submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.  It means something radical!  If we all – the Church – got a little closer to this and stopped paying special attention to behaviors that scare us, gross us out, and annoy us, we just might get better at being Jesus’ Body to a broken world.  I’m talking about Lordship, here, and it seems to me that we’ve got the wrong definition of respect working on that matter too, but that’s a different subject.

There are a lot of implications. One of these is that we get our priorities mixed up, and rather than stand with people (images of God, sinners like us who should be respected out of our own esteem for Jesus Christ), we stand against them or justify our silence. Ah, irony.

Today, April 16, is the Day of Silence. Sponsored by an organization called GLSEN, it is a day where students give up their voices (literally, don’t speak) to raise awareness of the injustices perpetrated against gay, lesbian, bi, and trans peers. Why doesn’t the Church stand with these students? Most discussion I’ve seen on the matter offers advice for talking to your kids about what the bible says about homosexuality so you can explain it to your gay friends. I don’t think that’s the biblical response. I know there are many who would argue to the contrary, I respect that. I think this part needs to come first.

Here are 3 ways anyone can stand with people who experience same-sex attraction to end the injustices they experience – without compromising their personal beliefs:

1. Eliminate the use of “gay”, “homo” and similar words from your own language and encourage others to do likewise. Think about what it means when the phrases “that’s so gay” or “dude, I like your shirt, no homo” are used.

2. Speak out against teasing, bullying, harassment, and physical violence against same-sex attracted people – especially youth. Give options for expressing and dealing with the feelings behind such actions in appropriate ways and places.

3. Educate yourself to become an agent of change and end the miscommunication between the Church and the GLBT communities. Read Andrew Marin‘s excellent book Love is An Orientation for some insight into ways that can be done.

None of these require the endorsement of any particular behavior beyond “love your neighbor as yourself”. All of these only require respecting the dignity of another human being.  What would you add to the list?

I recently spent some time with a youth worker friend who shared an amazing story with me. So beautiful, this story, so clear an evidence of the hand of God, that I’m compelled to share it with you.

This youth leader friend, along with a few students, stopped into a large youth event that was already underway.  They arrived just as a 16-year-old overcame her nerves and took the stage to share her conviction that life is precious to God.  Her words carried into the convention center, across the crowd of 1500 people to another girl who stood at the back. Not registered for the conference, this second girl stood with her youth leader who brought her with the stated motive of hearing the student on the stage.  They were in the room for only a few minutes.

The student on the stage spoke from the heart, and left the stage believing that the greatest victory was having spoken in front of a large crowd in spite of her nerves, the lights and the microphone. It was not.

The girl in the back, standing with her youth leader on this “quick stop” at the conference, was pregnant. For all of the reasons you’d expect, she was taking steps toward having an abortion – she was young, her whole future ahead of her. The message from the girl on the stage – that life is precious to God – changed her mind.

The message that life is precious to God changed her mind.

It wasn’t the sort of pro-life message you typically might hear directed at people like this pregnant teenager. There were no signs. There was no anger. Simple, honest statement that God’s love is for each and every person compelled one teenager to overcome her fears and speak the truth. Every life is precious to God. It was life changing. And a precious-to-God baby girl is in the arms of a loving family today as a result.

Yes, the law of the land allows a different choice. The pressures on pregnant girls are huge and come from all sides. If you’re not sure what that looks like in reality, take a look at an episode or two of MTVs 16 and Pregnant. Each pregnant teenager’s situation is different, but they are faced with the same reality.  Something blanket doctrinal and political statements are incapable of considering.

The teenager speaking from the stage thought her victory was overcoming her fear of the situation. She didn’t know the girl in the back, or that her words were going to be used by God to preserve a precious life, to change a person’s heart, to change the world just a little bit.  Every word spoken with love has that power.

A long while ago, Adam and I used to have fun putting together the  YMX podcast. Until a short time ago, I didn’t realize how much I missed it! Thanks to some great youth workers who podcast regularly for the youth ministry community, I had the great fun of participating in their programs as a guest.

The first reminder was in October with Tim Schmoyer, who hosts YMTalk at his website Life in Student Ministry. I was invited to talk about being a woman in youth ministry. You can click here to visit the page for that episode.

Then, last week, I was invited to chat with Josh Cook and Joel Diaz, two of the hosts of the YouthHacks podcast. We talked about ministry transitions, the National Youthworkers Conventions coming up in the Fall, and the newly redesigned youthspecialties.com. Again, had a great time. You can head over to the YouthHacks page to take a listen to the show.

None of these folks get rich podcasting, it’s something they do to benefit other youth workers in addition to their own full-time ministries. Support them with a listen (there are loads of episodes archived at their respective sites), subscribe if you like what you hear. Thanks to them for being a fun, free resource.

The power of being present has been on my mind quite a bit lately.

That solitary sentence has existed in isolation in a draft post for months. It’s still true, so I thought it was time to dust it off and hang out with it for a while.

What originally spurred it? I’m no longer certain. So many people live in isolation, even in an age of hyper-connectedness, that it may have been any number of situations. But today it seemed to fit my thinking about the ‘in between’ nature of Holy Saturday, upon which Christians consider the time between Jesus death and resurrection – the time during which he was no longer physically present. It’s a profound point when you believe in an omnipresent God. It can also turn into a theological rollercoaster ride, which isn’t my intent here today.

So much of caring is wrapped up in presence. Is it possible to display love and caring without presence of some sort? I’m not sure it is; I know it wasn’t intended to be. Babies die without touch. Adults go insane in extreme isolation. Communities deteriorate without presence. It’s the power of the humanity of Jesus – God came to be with humanity. It’s the power encapsulated in the proclamation of faith which shouts “be with” – Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Between the “risen” and the “come again” Jesus is not gone. He is in. In his people. In his church, the body of Christ, BUT only as far as we are present for each other, for the isolated, for the young, for the old, for the community.

Last week, in the neighborhood to which I’ve been present in one way or another for 10 years, where my church is situated and the kids I’m called to serve live, there was a sadly ordinary act of street violence. Taken was a 17-year-old, one of the kids I knew as an elementary-aged kid, and a 21-year-old. Senseless death.

Yesterday, in keeping an ancient practice of re-enacting the steps Jesus took from his condemnation to his death, my church walked the streets of the community, passing by the street memorial for these young men. [See a news report of the community walk here.]  It was a poignant reminder of the need for the Church (not just ours, but all of it) to be with it’s community – to be community.  During the Stations, a man named David gave his life to Christ.  Tonight, David will be baptised during one of the most ancient known liturgies celebrated today, The Great Vigil of Easter. It is marked by a transition from darkness into light, from slavery and condemnation to freedom and salvation. It’s an amazing re-telling of the love story God has given in scripture. It tells us of his desire to be with us… about the importance of presence.

I haven’t been a good blogger over the course of the past year or so. I’m not going to apologize, though. The events and circumstances that influenced the infrequency are good ones, and I hope in similar you would also drop a hobby for the stuff of life that matters most. After a while of foregoing blogging, however, it’s become something of a quandry how get started once again. So here I am, making this somewhat personal post, shyly hoping to restart my relationship with this medium. Hello, old friend. Hello, also, to anyone who is still subscribed; I’m not sure why you are, but I hope we can have some conversations around the place again.

It’s Good Friday. It’s silent in my house, for the moment – an ever so rare moment. I’m listening to this lack of familiar sounds, and considering my relationship with Jesus in the every day and the extraordinary. I’m a person who actively seeks to find places where ordinary life and God’s grace intersect. I’ve even named this blog according to that pursuit. However, that doesn’t mean I’m always successful at finding those places. I want to be better at it. It’s easier to find grace in the extraordinary sometimes.

A few things on my personal/vocational radar lately:

• I’m still praying for a way to open for me to go to Haiti, as I wrote in my last post. There are some health considerations for me to be successful at serving in such a tropical place, so I’m praying fervently while looking for the opportunity God has for me, whenever and wherever that might come about. I read this post last night, and dreamt about it. Three dreams about serving mothers and children in Haiti. Way will open.
• I’m loving where God has led me in ministry. Right now I’m serving both directly with students through a small group of older high school and college girls at my church, and as a part of the Schenectady City Life team in Hamilton Hill. In both instances, I feel like I’ve come home. In addition, I’m receiving more speaking requests for camp and conferences, which I always enjoy. I’m especially looking forward to my return engagement at TIMS (Teens in Missionary Service), a Central Pennsylvania work camp/summer camp with a missions emphasis, coming up in July. I’ll be speaking in the evening sessions during the week of July 25-31.
• Alongside the ministry opportunities above, I’m being blessed with growth in my own ministry-related consulting business.  I have gotten to work on some fantastic projects, like Simply Youth Ministry’s LIVE curriculum, as well as on-going content development work with Youth Specialties.com. I’m enjoying coaching a few fantastic youth workers in reaching some personal and professional goals [use the contact form here to inquire], and have recently become part of the Life in Student Ministry Mentorship team. Enjoying every minute of it.

That’s a good start at getting reacquainted here. Ask me questions. Comment some topics you’d like to see me address. Let’s look for grace together.

The Bible reads "HURT" via Adam McLane on flickr

I want to go to Haiti. I believe God wants me, and a whole lot of other people, to go and be his physical presence doing all sorts of tasks.  From the moment I learned of the devastation in Port-au-Prince, I was wrecked.

The people of Haiti lived a largely subsistence-level life before this earthquake took most of their material goods, housing and ability to earn any living. Millions of people were instantly dependent upon the good graces and provision of the rest of the world. As with many previous disasters, like Hurricane Katrina and the Tsumani that hit Sumatra, people poured out emotions, financial assistance, and in many cases, practical help for a long time. I, myself, have participated in a number of relief trips hands-on or as an organizer.

The news coverage of Haiti is mostly ended now. It’s likely we’ll only hear about crimes, corruption, and the occasional update on some milestone of progress. We won’t see the daily ordeal of getting food for a family. We won’t see the danger to vulnerable children and girls that comes from human traffickers. We won’t see the mud and mire that will engulf the nation as the rainy season begins and people continue to live in makeshift ‘shelters’ made of bedsheets, tarps, and debris from fallen buildings.  We definitely won’t see the spiritual revival taking place among Haiti’s people on our evening news.

I have a group of friends who spent a week in Haiti to serve, to raise awareness of the situation on the ground through social media, and to investigate partnerships for serving alongside the local church now and into the future. They went nervous they’d  all want to adopt an orphan, desiring to help however they could, and with sore arms from the copious vaccinations they received in preparation for their short notice adventure.  They served, they observed, and they were wrecked by the experience. Changed forever. I’m so proud of the way they let God use them. I’m so awed at how God used them. I’m wrecked each and every time I read or hear them speak about their experiences.  I’m going to link to some of their blogs, photos, facebook and videos. Go and see.

Adam McLane – photos – blog posts here, here, here, here, here and here

Tim Schmoyer – blog – podcast

Jeremy Zach – blog

Ian Roberson – blog

Lars Rood – blog

Mark Oestreicher – blog

Anne Jackson – blog

Youth Ministry Advance Team: Haiti – facebook

It’s a lot, I know. It’s all worth it. God is calling. I’m wrecked. When? Where? To do? I don’t know yet. But I’m listening. Are you?

I’m completely thrilled to be able to share this news with you. Like 99.99999% of the youth working world, I’ve watched changes happen at Youth Specialties over the past year with interest in where it would all settle. The video below is an instant addition to the YS classic list, and the details are in the text below. Though change can be difficult, I’m grateful this pillar of youth ministry training and resourcing is changing to serve us more effectively. Check it out:

From Youth Specialties:

The past 12 months at Youth Specialties have been crazy, filled with way too many changes. The good news is that—whew—things are finally settling down and exciting developments are on the horizon!

Now—appropriately—you are asking, “What’s next?” We’ve heard you and we’re excited to share the latest news.

Youth Specialties is now a part of YouthWorks! On December 16, YouthWorks finalized the acquisition of Youth Specialties from Zondervan. What does this mean? YouthWorks purchased the Youth Specialties brand—all the events, the websites, the stationery and even the truck that is used to pick up the mail. Zondervan will continue to operate the publishing division of Youth Specialties. In one form or another, Zondervan has been publishing Youth Specialties’ stuff for more than 30 years, so we’re excited to see that relationship continue.

On the same day YouthWorks purchased Youth Specialties, some staffing changes were made. This was by far the most difficult aspect of the transition, but you can be confident that it was managed with great compassion, care and dignity.

Over the holiday period, a lot of the transition work began. After 40 years of operating as a for-profit business, Youth Specialties is now part of a non-profit ministry. This will certainly shape how we operate and how we serve you, but we’re convinced that this will allow us to be even more effective in providing training, resources and encouragement.

Also during this time, we’ve come to know the YouthWorks team and we’ve seen that God’s hand has been shaping this relationship for a long time. YouthWorks’ purpose is “to help the Church be the Church” by providing life-changing, Christ-centered resources for ministry—it’s the Youth Specialties purpose as well.  God has found a great home for our ministry!

What will Youth Specialties do now? The short and simple answer is that Youth Specialties will do what it’s done since it was founded. With our full focus on serving youth workers and the church, we will continue to provide world-class events, training opportunities and resources.

He’s back—Tic Long has returned to Youth Specialties! In the early years of the Youth Specialties ministry, Wayne Rice and Mike Yaconelli hired Tic Long. For more than 30 years Tic helped lead Youth Specialties and helped pioneer much of who and what the ministry is today. Tic’s return as Executive Director of Youth Specialties is effective immediately. Most importantly, Tic has been tasked with leading Youth Specialties forward. His wealth of knowledge and expertise in the arena of youth ministry and his personal passion and love for youth workers will serve as a solid foundation in the growth and success of Youth Specialties.

Finally, thank you for standing beside us during these past months. Your prayers and words of encouragement have been a blessing to both the Youth Specialties and the YouthWorks teams. We look forward to the next 40 years of ministry and the opportunity to grow the Kingdom by serving the world’s youth workers who are impacting the next generation of Christians.

If I had to describe the main stage speakers (so far) with just two words, I would use these: Interesting intersections.

I could leave it right there, and I’m tempted to do just that. But, that wouldn’t make for very good reading for anyone else, would it? What follows is some preliminary processing around those words, interesting intersections.

Tony Campolo spoke to us about the theology of time, reminding me that we serve a God who is omnipresent, who was and is in our past, present and future simultaneously, eternally.  In every moment that ever has or will be, we intersect with God.

Donald Miller spoke to us about the process of story, and touched on the idea that we are in the middle of the narrative about conflict and God’s redemption of the world. Our stories intersect with others’ stories. Tell a hopeful story.

Three teenagers – Zach Hunter, Jordan Foxworthy, and Jaime Coleman – talked about what happened to them when their lives met other, very different, lives and their response to that encounter. When our stories intersect there is an opportunity to make a difference. Create intersections to allow responses.

Liz Murray appeared on the stage and shared what happened when her tumultuous life met another and was altered incalculably.  Intersections can be course altering. Be there for them.

This blog has always had the subtitle At the Intersection of Life and Grace because I want to observe, and participate in, what happens at these places of interesting intersection between lives and stories.  I’m fascinated by them, I am who I am because of intersections just like them.