the intersection of life and grace

I’ll be adding my notes from Francis Chan’s talk here at the Shift Conference this morning.  You can see a number of the sessions at the linked website.

Starting video asks “How are you? Your soul?” Francis is talking about how about 75% of the time his feels amazing, and the other 25% of the time he thinks “this sucks” and he’s ready to walk away.

The church needs a radical shift. “Every time I read the book of Acts, I put it down and think ‘wow, we’re just like that.”  I look at it and think, ‘we’re so different from that.’”  The sense is that commitment like Stephen and Paul is what  Jesus meant when he said he was going to build his church on this.  Not like us. “We’re so stoppable.”

We resolve ourselves to the idea that is so different now. Acts 4:13 – boldness was what made people astonished and recognize that ordinary men represented God.  We’re almost the exact opposite, we’re more educated, and less bold.  We (in ministry) have set the bar so low.  We’ve set the bar the so low that people believe that it’s impossible to reach their neighbors.  But we believe that it’s the same Holy Spirit!

“We’ve forgotten our first love.  We got educated. We put our confidence in this new knowledge and new programs.”  Quoted Oswald Chambers about programs and methods.

The Holy Spirit speaks to US, and gives us a direction, just for us.  And we know it, and we don’t go that direction.  We get scared.  We don’t do it, and we know it.

We get stopped when we compare ourselves to other people. I’ll never be {fill in the name of the person you admire in ministry}.  We forget that we have that Holy Spirit in US.  We’re scared to listen. We’re scared to act on what the Holy Spirit  says to us.  We’re scared to be bold.

One problem is, you can be a successful pastor or youth pastor here in America without the power of the Holy Spirit. You can be invited to speak, but not in love with Jesus.  Can you be in love with Jesus, empowered by the Holy Spirit and bored at the same time?! Where is the supernatural in your life?

Do people walk away from your group, your church saying “The Lord is God” stunned like the unbelieving prophets of Baal when God answered Elijah.  The prophets of Baal had a great worship service, but no fire really came down from heaven.  Elijah was a man just like us – do you believe that?  Is your God the real one?  The Lord is God.

I can talk people down the aisle and into praying a prayer without the Holy Spirit.  It’s the life change I can’t talk people into. ” I can’t make her love you, God.” (his jr high age daughter)  So what do we do? Create a bigger event? Unless the Holy Spirit get ahold of her, we can’t do anything.  ”The Spirit gives life, the flesh is of no help at all.”

As a dad, what do I want from my youth pastor, from her counselors? I want a man or woman of prayer, a man or woman of God who is so full of the Holy Spirit that they are filled with boldness and the confidence of God. It is the Spirit that gives life and the flesh is of no help at all. Elijah was a man just like us.”

Here is the shift that needs to take place. People need to be attracted to God. Not the band. Not the program. People need to be attracted to God. [closes in prayer]

From today’s Diocesan Update from Bishop Bill Love of Albany:

I have been particularly grieved by the reports coming out of the Diocese of Maridi in Southern Sudan, as well as those from the Diocese of Jos in Nigeria, where our brothers and sisters in Christ have come under attack and persecution, primarily because of their faith in Christ.  Following is an excerpt from an email I just received from Bishop Justin Badi, Bishop of our sister diocese of Maridi:

“Last night (January 1st) the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army) came in Nzumara village which is three miles south of Maridi town.  They chopped seven people to death, destroyed properties, tortured people and have taken over twenty to the bush.  It is a very miserable situation here in Maridi.  We very much value your prayers for us.”

Bishop Justin and his wife, Joyce, visited the Diocese of Albany a few years ago and attended our Diocesan Convention.  Karen and I were blessed with being able to spend time with them last summer at Lambeth.

In a similar report, Archbishop Ben Kwashi, Archbishop of Jos,  recently spoke of the attacks directed primarily against Christians in and around Jos, a few weeks ago.  He stated, “From amongst our own members, nine were killed, eight injured, 42 adults displaced, three churches destroyed, 56 homes destroyed or looted, 57 businesses destroyed or looted, and 26 vehicles destroyed.” Archbishop Ben has stated that much of the reporting on the situation in Jos by international media is inaccurate and full of propaganda.  Like Bishop Justin and Joyce, Archbishop Ben and his wife Gloria are also friends of the Diocese of Albany.  We were greatly blessed by their visit and powerful testimony at last summer’s Diocesan Convention.

I ask all the clergy and laity of the Diocese of Albany to join me in fasting and holding our brothers and sisters in Christ from the dioceses of Maridi and Jos up in prayer, asking our Lord Jesus Christ to send His holy angels to watch over, protect and minister to them.  May the Holy Spirit come upon them mightily, giving them the strength, courage, wisdom, comfort and faith they so desperately need during this very difficult and uncertain time.  May the Lord give them His perfect peace.  Amen!

In addition to praying and fasting, I would invite anyone who can, to make a financial gift in support of the people of the Dioceses of Maridi and Jos.  All financial gifts may be sent to the Diocese of Albany individually or through your parish.  Upon receipt at the Diocesan Office, they will be forwarded to special accounts that have been set up for the two Dioceses.  Please make all checks out to the Diocese of Albany, annotating in the memo section what it is for.  Any gift you can make is greatly appreciated.

Even if you are not from the Diocese of Albany, please join in upholding these Christian brothers and sisters whose faith may cost them their lives.  If you know of others in these for whom we should pray, feel free to leave some info in the comments.

Our household loyalty is divided between New York NL and AL baseball teams, but we’ve agreed to unite on the choices below for the final spot on the All-Star Game roster.  (don’t ask me what I think about the rest of the roster!)

No matter who’s your fav, go vote!

But the posts I put up yesterday disappeared overnight.  Bummer.

I was able to “save” the post below from my Google Reader, but the first post is just gone.  It said, welcome to my new blog, so, yeah… Welcome!

Amazing. Post 100. Yeah!

Probably should have thought about something hugely profound for this post. Oh! I know!

The most profound thing I have ever heard can be summed up like this:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ ” From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made him known.

Life feels a bit like this picture right now. Stormy, a little threatening but may be clearing, certainly colorful, and strangely beautiful. Thanks, God, for the way you color life.

Today would be my mother’s 63rd birthday. wow… it’s been 27 years since we celebrated her birthday together! I treasure the relationship I had with her, even blessing the fact we never had to go through the fighting and angst of my mid-late teens with the relational stuff that so often goes along with it.

I do miss her, especially when I long for those long and late conversations about the stuff of life. What would she think of her adult children… how would she interact with her grandchildren?

I’m thankful, Mom, that I had you with me while I did; and you’d be proud to know that I’m even thankful for the tough days. I miss you, and hope to one day see you again. There’s so much I can’t wait to tell you!

In my quiet times recently, the Lord has been focusing my attention on remembering what He has done. Isn’t THAT revolutionary… Anyway, I’ve found that recounting the acts of God – from creation to our present to his promises – has sowed an incredible amount of gratitude in my heart through what has been an extraordinarily difficult stretch of life.

I’m learning at the heart level, with new depth, that gratitude is the fuel of faithfulness, the energy of encouragement, the attitude of actions that breathe Christ into every moment and contact. For that, I’m profoundly grateful.

O give thanks unto the Lord, and call upon his Name; tell the
people what things he hath done. Psalm 105:1

Almighty God, Father of all mercies,
we thine unworthy servants
do give thee most humble and hearty thanks
for all thy goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all men.

We bless thee for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for thine inestimable love
in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ,
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.

And, we beseech thee,
give us that due sense of all thy mercies,
that our hearts may be unfeignedly thankful;
and that we show forth thy praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up our selves to thy service,
and by walking before thee
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost,
be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen.
- The General Thanksgiving, BCP 72

It seems like getting caught up is something I really, really want, and something I’ll never, ever, ever get. Ironic that Brad+ was preaching on surrendering our “to do” lists to God’s when Tim’s tremors took over every ounce of my attention.

A good many people are already aware that our son, Tim, has been suffering since June with an unexplained tremor of his right arm. So many people have been praying for his healing since that night the tremor began; so many have offered posts and cards and in-person offerings of encouragement. Please know that we believe in healing, and we know that Jesus Christ is the ultimate source of all healing.

After pursuing all the medical options – multiple doctors/specialists and diagnostic tests for any and everything that can cause a tremor – no difinitive cause was determined. Several trial treatments provided intolerable side effects, and Tim chose to “wait it out” for the doctor’s prediction that the tremor “would stop as suddenly as it started” to materialize. That day has yet to come.

Fast forward (and it really seemed to go quickly) to October 29, in the midst of that sermon I mentioned above. Tim came to sit by me to say that he was having uncomfortable muscle spasms in the middle of his back. He stayed by me, looking distressed, and within just a few minutes the spasms engulfed his body. He rocked forward and back, his arms and legs shook, his neck took control of his head’s movement. He was frightened, I was already praying and had my hand in his whispering to him that he wasn’t alone. He was conscious throughout. Soon others came to pray, and the agenda of that sermon, of that particular liturgy, was stopped to minister to Tim. God’s people prayed fervently, and continue to. We are so grateful.

In the weeks since, as the tremors continued to occur multiple times daily in varying degrees of intensity and duration, another flurry of doctor visits and tests. Thanks to the advocacy of our amazing pediatrician, Tim is being freed from some unnecessary anti-depressants and beginning a new course of treatment. After reviewing Tim’s complete history (13 of his 17 years in her care), our doctor surmises that he’s having an immunological/neurological reaction to a recent-past viral illness (or series of illnesses). This is exceedingly rare, and Tim’s would be an atypical presentation of the disorder known as Sydenham’s chorea. Which is why we’re not calling it “the” diagnosis just yet. The trial treatment will continue for a few weeks, and progress (or lack thereof) will determine the next steps.

In the meantime, what was “normal” life here – my personal and professional “to do’s” – is on hold as I focus entirely on my ministry as mom. Tim can’t be alone, he’s having trouble concentrating on much of anything, and he needs to be helped to adjust to life as it is now. There have been heart-breaking moments – the loss of the freedom he’d just gained with his driver’s license, resigning his job at the mall, suspending private music lessons he’d begun to intensely prepare for college auditions. I’ve had the painful privilege of grieving these with him, and hoping with him that they are temporary.

The Lord knows if we’ve found the right problem and treatment; we do not yet know those facts. The Lord knows already what our “new normal” life requires of each of the members of our family; we do not yet know those facts. Our friend Torre tells a story of walking a Liberian jungle path with a lamp. If the lamp was held high, it cast a lot of light and created many frightening shadows. If the lamp was held at one’s side, it cast enough light for the next step and warded off the overwhelming (and falsely frightening) shadows of what’s to come. Please pray with us as we take one moment, one step forward at a time, and that we keep the lamp at our side as we walk this path.

From today’s Priests and Deacons Update:

“At the meeting of the Standing Committee today (Oct 30) Bishop Dan Herzog and Bishop Dave Bena advised the members that they each intend to retire in early 2007.

“We have both prayerfully considered what God’s will is, and believe that this is the right time to pass on the apostolic ministry.

We have discussed this with Bishop William Love, the Coadjutor of the Diocese, and he is ready to assume leadership as Ninth Bishop of Albany. By the time we retire on January 31, over ten months will have elapsed since his election.

Bishop Bill was for some time a member of the Standing Committee and the Diocesan Council and therefore well acquainted with the vision and operations of the diocese. Since March he has been able to participate in many meetings, ministries and events along side us. He is an able leader, committed to Christ and His kingdom.

Each of us has been especially blessed by having a supportive and prayerful wife. Carol Herzog and MaryEllen Bena have sacrificed time and companionship so we could carry out this ministry. Words are inadequate to express our gratitude.

Both of us have been blessed to labor together in this portion of the Lord’s vineyard. We have been particularly blessed by our fellow disciples, both lay and ordained. Both of us are deeply grateful for the help of so many as we endeavored to carry our episcopal ministry across this vast diocese.

In Christ Jesus,

+ Bishop Dan Herzog + Bishop Dave Bena