the intersection of life and grace

This is the stuff of which family folklore is made. Thanks to youtube, we all get to hear the story.

Good job, kid.

[HT @andrewbadera]

No one wants to get old. especially youth workers.  So, earlier this week when my son sent me a link to the infamously annoying to teenagers mosquito tone (a noise in the high-end range that our ears lose after years of  loud music, screaming kids, and chronological advances), youth workers everywhere started posting with glee if they were over 25 and could hear this noise.  It’s a fun site, with a badge you can use to boast of your achievement, or mourn your aural insufficiency.  You can try it here.

Enter Adam, my sarcastic genius of a friend.  I mean that as a compliment, mostly!  Within 24 hours of my passing the link above to him, the Parent Audio Test was online and cracking me up.  Click here, try it, grab the badge, tell your friends, because it is just that funny.  If you don’t think so, – yes, I’m just that mature. 

[Baseball] is a game played by two teams, one out the other in.

The one that’s in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn’t count. If they get in before they get out it does count.

When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that’s out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out.

When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get
the ones in out before they get in without being out.

The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in.

HT Lisa via email

In no particular order, these are a few of the lessons I learned from my two months of grand jury service.

• It’s very important to establish the specific locale of the offense being considered, and there is a specific form.  Prosecutor:  “And that took place/is located in the City of Albany, County of Albany, State of New York?” Witness: “Yes.”
• The field test for the presence of cocaine consists of a plastic pouch containing three ampules.  Detective:  A sample of the suspected substance is placed in the pouch, and the ampules are broken from left to right in the following way.  The first ampule is broken and the pouch is agitated for 30 seconds looking for the liquid to turn pink.  The second ampule is then broken and the pouch is again agitated for 30 seconds looking for the liquid to turn blue.  At this point, the third ampule is broken and pouch agitated, and if cocaine is present the contents will offer a result of pink-over-blue. (There is a quite similar process for testing suspected marijuana, the colors are different – gray and purple.)
• The law has not kept up in the favor of the people in the area of internet crimes and downloadable materials.  It is extraordinarily difficult for the people who investigate these sorts of crimes to explain “how they know” in terms non- or barely-tech literate folks can understand.
• The Grand Jury room in the Albany County Justice Center needs a large presentation screen for viewing video and photographic evidence.  The present system is to have up to 25 people using the same laptop screen (obviously requiring more time for everyone to view properly).  Hint, use one of the several flat screen TVs from the “jurors lounge” which aren’t allowed to be used for anything else (like watching TV) because trial jurors are around.
• Law enforcement witnesses who repeatedly appear before the grand jury have the “officer tell the grand jurors about your responsibilities and experience” speech down to an art; those who don’t, well, don’t.  They all do better with specific questions rather than open ended ones.
• Even though there is wireless internet in the building, grand jurors can’t use it even during extended periods of inactivity.
• Presenting the right witnesses keeps the grand jurors from having to see some horrific photographic and video evidence.
• Forensic detective work is not like CSI in any way, especially the time frame.  The prosecutors’ job is very much like what is depicted in Law & Order, except for the time frame.
• Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is a chargeable crime.  It’s called “accessorial conduct.”
• Lying always shows.
• The definitions of burglary, larceny, robbery, arson, manslaughter, criminal possession (of anything), criminal mischief, assault, forgery, and many other crimes are very clear.  Especially upon repetition… repetition… repetition.
• The “so-called Miranda warnings” can be read from a card, from a form, from the computer screen, or recited from memory.  If they are recited from memory, they will be recited to the grand jury by the officer who gave them.  If they are read, they will be signed and initialed.
• All statements seem to include “I can (or can not) read and write English” from the person giving the statement.
• Confessions can not be used to convict (in our case, indict) a person unless there is independent corroborating evidence.
• Copies of documents entered into evidence appear to require being “kept in the ordinary course of business,” and must be “the same or substantially the same as the original document.”  Every report, document, and photo was similarly qualified.
• If you are in a place with some illegal substance, stolen property, or a weapon of any kind, and are physically able to use, hold, or move it, you are said to be in “constructive control” of that item.  That’s a bad thing.
• Pizzeria 54 is a fun lunch spot in downtown Albany.
• Oh, and one last thing… when it comes to throwing 23 citizens in a room to decide if cases have merit to go on to a trial, it takes all kinds!

Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

No joke, that.

I will return to regular blogging tomorrow.  I took some time away from some “extra” things during Holy Week, and then got sick, and then got behind on everything.  So, I’m getting caught up, and I’ll get back in the swing of things on the morrow.

In the meantime, check out this quirky musing by a certain Mr. Crowder regarding the historic roots of the “rock, paper, scissors” way of making choices.  Muy enjoyable!

For Tom:

Sorry, I just couldn’t resist! It’s better than saying “meow” every other word!

Of 40 jurors called, 2 were excused, 23 were chosen, I among them.  I had to abstain from voting on the case in which I was married to a witness (ha!), but now I’m serving the people of Albany County each Wednesday through April 30.  Like I said below, I’m not opposed to serving, and it’s never convenient, but it is important.  So I serve.   And that’s all I can say about that because Grand Jury proceedings are secret – my Wednesdays have become a black hole.

However, much happened outside the jury room today.  While we were working, Eliot Spitzer resigned as Governor of New York, effective Monday, again with all the arrogance he could manage for one whose hypocrisy, infidelity and immorality has been broadcast around the world for 48 hours.  Pray for David Patterson who will become our Governor, and those whose jobs will be changed substantively, or lost because they were Spitzer appointees.  Pray for New York and New Yorkers as we seek to move on from the scandal.

Also, there was some sort of “white powder in a letter” incident (it turned out to be baking soda) in the courthouse, between where I was and the Capitol.  That created some excitement as well.

I am convinced that God has a sense of humor.  The latest example of the Divine comedy is related to my being called to be in the grand jury pool for Albany County.  I report tomorrow morning for the first time, as per the notice I received about a month ago. The comedy becomes apparent when one learns that my husband was summoned to testify before the very same grand jury… tomorrow morning.  Yeah, so, I think I probably won’t be selected for the jury.  You can’t convince me that God didn’t already know that this would happen.  It just makes me wonder one thing – to what end?  I hope that’s more apparent to any of you than it will be to me as I go through the exercise of getting up very early and going down to the Justice Center for however long it takes to be dismissed.

This probably belongs on some website called “you know you’re from Albany if” or something, but I was laughing over it, so I’m blogging about it. It could be quite funny even if you aren’t from the 518.

You might assume that the skyline of the capital city of New York State would be dominated by the Capitol building itself, but it’s not. Thanks to Gov. Nelson A. Rockefellar, the distinctive hallmark of the city’s view as it sits on the bank of the Hudson River is the Empire State Plaza – in earlier years called Rocky’s Folly for it’s extravagant expense and odd looks.

The Plaza, as you can see in the photos, is a collection of clone-like office towers for state government, book-ended by the State Museum and Library at the southern end and the architecturally dissonant Capitol to the north (neither is visible in these pics). In the center and to the east is The Egg – I bet you don’t need my help to pick it out in the photo. It houses several theaters for the performing arts as well as the NYS Convention Center. Growing up we had a lot of fun making up alternate names for it, generally based on it’s shape resembling a certain bathroom fixture.

The amazingly quirky band They Might Be Giants made a number of venue song videos for one of their tours. Guess where they played? Yes! The Egg! I’m embedding below TMBG’s venue song for The Egg (don’t have anything to drink nearby, you may get the screen or keyboard a tad messy). Come on, watch it… the odd factor alone is worth it.