We’re heeerrre! That’s me in the YS digital lounge, taken by Derek.
Have checked in at the Convention Center, gotten our snazzy backpacks and the official schedule. I’ve run into a few folks I know, and made a new few new friends here among the amazing number of mac users in the YM field.
Heading out now to meet-up with a BUNCH o’YMXers. More later
Amazing. Post 100. Yeah!
Probably should have thought about something hugely profound for this post. Oh! I know!
The most profound thing I have ever heard can be summed up like this:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.
He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’ ” From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made him known.
With all the swirling life has been doing of late, I really didn’t know if I’d be on my way anywhere today, but now I’m sitting in North Carolina in the living room of my friends Derek and Katie, with whom I’ll head out to Charlotte tomorrow. We’ll be on our way to Youth Specialties’ National Youth Workers Convention for several days worth of training, networking, and lots of fun being equipped and refreshed in this crazy life loving teenagers in Jesus’ name.
Yes, you’re right, I’m currently on a leave of absence to care for my son. This trip was planned and largely paid for before Tim’s illness escalated, and my wise counsellors said not only should I not waste those resources, but a break will be good for my sanity and spiritual health right now. It feels odd to even be out of my house, much less to have boarded planes. The kids are safe in daddy’s hands for certain.
In the meantime, life at CYM goes on! With plans underway for the Cathedral Lock-In being handled by Tracy, Megan and Michelle, there will be an amazing time for all who attend.
Have I mentioned I’m in North Carolina? I’ve been looking through the Charlotte schedule, I have the new youth ministers in our Diocese (welcome Jess and Timothy!), and all the hardworking staff and volunteers on my heart. I’ll be attending a few workshops with them in mind, and a few to get new ideas and sharpen skills of my own. I’ll also be meeting up with more friends from YMX and doing some networking (and maybe a little podcast interviewing), and seeking God in worship and prayer and fellowship.
Now that I’m on my way, I’m looking forward to the experience, but the mommy in me hasn’t completely come to grips yet. I’m looking forward to sharing my thoughts and observations as we go along. If you’re in Charlotte for the NYWC, watch the bulletin board for announcements or check the NYWC forums at ymexchange.com for details of gatherings. It’d be great for you to join us!
Today would be my mother’s 63rd birthday. wow… it’s been 27 years since we celebrated her birthday together! I treasure the relationship I had with her, even blessing the fact we never had to go through the fighting and angst of my mid-late teens with the relational stuff that so often goes along with it.
I do miss her, especially when I long for those long and late conversations about the stuff of life. What would she think of her adult children… how would she interact with her grandchildren?
I’m thankful, Mom, that I had you with me while I did; and you’d be proud to know that I’m even thankful for the tough days. I miss you, and hope to one day see you again. There’s so much I can’t wait to tell you!
In my quiet times recently, the Lord has been focusing my attention on remembering what He has done. Isn’t THAT revolutionary… Anyway, I’ve found that recounting the acts of God – from creation to our present to his promises – has sowed an incredible amount of gratitude in my heart through what has been an extraordinarily difficult stretch of life.
I’m learning at the heart level, with new depth, that gratitude is the fuel of faithfulness, the energy of encouragement, the attitude of actions that breathe Christ into every moment and contact. For that, I’m profoundly grateful.
O give thanks unto the Lord, and call upon his Name; tell the
people what things he hath done. Psalm 105:1
Almighty God, Father of all mercies,
we thine unworthy servants
do give thee most humble and hearty thanks
for all thy goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all men.
We bless thee for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for thine inestimable love
in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ,
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.
And, we beseech thee,
give us that due sense of all thy mercies,
that our hearts may be unfeignedly thankful;
and that we show forth thy praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up our selves to thy service,
and by walking before thee
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with thee and the Holy Ghost,
be all honor and glory, world without end. Amen.
- The General Thanksgiving, BCP 72
It seems like getting caught up is something I really, really want, and something I’ll never, ever, ever get. Ironic that Brad+ was preaching on surrendering our “to do” lists to God’s when Tim’s tremors took over every ounce of my attention.
A good many people are already aware that our son, Tim, has been suffering since June with an unexplained tremor of his right arm. So many people have been praying for his healing since that night the tremor began; so many have offered posts and cards and in-person offerings of encouragement. Please know that we believe in healing, and we know that Jesus Christ is the ultimate source of all healing.
After pursuing all the medical options – multiple doctors/specialists and diagnostic tests for any and everything that can cause a tremor – no difinitive cause was determined. Several trial treatments provided intolerable side effects, and Tim chose to “wait it out” for the doctor’s prediction that the tremor “would stop as suddenly as it started” to materialize. That day has yet to come.
Fast forward (and it really seemed to go quickly) to October 29, in the midst of that sermon I mentioned above. Tim came to sit by me to say that he was having uncomfortable muscle spasms in the middle of his back. He stayed by me, looking distressed, and within just a few minutes the spasms engulfed his body. He rocked forward and back, his arms and legs shook, his neck took control of his head’s movement. He was frightened, I was already praying and had my hand in his whispering to him that he wasn’t alone. He was conscious throughout. Soon others came to pray, and the agenda of that sermon, of that particular liturgy, was stopped to minister to Tim. God’s people prayed fervently, and continue to. We are so grateful.
In the weeks since, as the tremors continued to occur multiple times daily in varying degrees of intensity and duration, another flurry of doctor visits and tests. Thanks to the advocacy of our amazing pediatrician, Tim is being freed from some unnecessary anti-depressants and beginning a new course of treatment. After reviewing Tim’s complete history (13 of his 17 years in her care), our doctor surmises that he’s having an immunological/neurological reaction to a recent-past viral illness (or series of illnesses). This is exceedingly rare, and Tim’s would be an atypical presentation of the disorder known as Sydenham’s chorea. Which is why we’re not calling it “the” diagnosis just yet. The trial treatment will continue for a few weeks, and progress (or lack thereof) will determine the next steps.
In the meantime, what was “normal” life here – my personal and professional “to do’s” – is on hold as I focus entirely on my ministry as mom. Tim can’t be alone, he’s having trouble concentrating on much of anything, and he needs to be helped to adjust to life as it is now. There have been heart-breaking moments – the loss of the freedom he’d just gained with his driver’s license, resigning his job at the mall, suspending private music lessons he’d begun to intensely prepare for college auditions. I’ve had the painful privilege of grieving these with him, and hoping with him that they are temporary.
The Lord knows if we’ve found the right problem and treatment; we do not yet know those facts. The Lord knows already what our “new normal” life requires of each of the members of our family; we do not yet know those facts. Our friend Torre tells a story of walking a Liberian jungle path with a lamp. If the lamp was held high, it cast a lot of light and created many frightening shadows. If the lamp was held at one’s side, it cast enough light for the next step and warded off the overwhelming (and falsely frightening) shadows of what’s to come. Please pray with us as we take one moment, one step forward at a time, and that we keep the lamp at our side as we walk this path.
