the intersection of life and grace

Elder abuse is a hidden problem, said Sharon Merriman-Nai, co-manager of the National Center of Elder Abuse, based at the University of Delaware.

Experts believe it may be more prevalent than spousal abuse but is even more under-reported because victims are fearful of retribution, in denial, embarrassed or too disabled to speak up, she said. For every one report of elder abuse, Merriman-Nai said, an estimated five go unreported.

New York’s Adult Protection Services office received 33,380 referrals in 2007, about 60 percent of which involved adults over 60. According to 1997 data, 34 percent of elder abusers were adult children, 26 percent were spouses and 26 percent were unrelated, according to the state.

The above is quoted from the most recent Times Union article about the death of Mrs. Beth Adams. In addition to this information about the issue of elder abuse, the article gives a glimpse of some more of the gruesome details about her death. If the result of this horrific case is that more of our elders are protected, that is the most good that can be expected. However, just as there is a community outcry about protecting children from neglect and predatory behavior, so should there be for our elderly.

In my city, suspected abuse can be reported by calling the Albany County Department of Social Services Adult Protective Services at 447-7177. Do you know that number for where you live? If the situation is immediate and dangerous, of course, call 911 or your local police.

Additional resources about prevention of elder abuse are available from the US Dept of Heath and Human Services’ Administration on Aging – these can be found by clicking here.

My friend Maria Fenty was in love with the people of Sudan. More than once she trekked there to encourage and serve people in the ravaged south, loving those whose lives were on the line daily. She told me that she hoped to go live there to serve the women and children struggling to survive, whose faith she found contagious, vibrant and thriving.

It was her nature to serve – her ‘real job’ was as a substance abuse counselor and she loved showing people the light at the end of the tunnel. It was no surprise to any who knew her that she discerned God’s call to serve the church as an ordained deacon, received the necessary training and was ordained just days before she led a team to Sudan in February 2002.

While in Sudan, Deacon Maria contracted malaria unbeknownst to her. She became ill after returning home and died of complications of the disease. It was shattering to face the loss, the cost of mission, the unthinkable loss of a friend to a disease so foreign to our homeland.  (photo at right shows her parents receiving condolences from former Bishop Dan Herzog upon the establishment of the Maria Fenty fund for Sudan)

If she had recovered from malaria and could speak to us today, I am 100% certain she would tell us about how vulnerable the people, especially the children, of Sudan and other poor countries are to malaria, and how infection can be so cheaply prevented today. Because she was the sort of person to look hardship in the face and find hope, she would be passionate about learning from her experience and working toward making sure no one else suffered needlessly.

Please investigate the links below, and do what you can to help solve a problem that needlessly puts so many of the world’s poorest at risk.

Nothing But Nets – http://www.nothingbutnets.net/

Roll Back Malaria – http://www.rollbackmalaria.org/worldmalariaday/

Malaria Consortium – http://www.mobilising4malaria.org/index.php

Gifts may also be made to the Maria Fenty Fund, which makes grants for initiatives in Sudan, by sending donations so marked by mail to the Episcopal Diocese of Albany, 68 S. Swan St., Albany, NY, 12210.

The post below – A glimpe of culture’s dark soul – was the result of my trying to process difficult cases the grand jury on which I sit has handled. The contents of the proceedings and deliberations of a grand jury are secret, but the general information in one case is now in the newspaper because an arrest and arraignment took place today. My previous post is now dedicated to the memory of Mrs. Beth Adams, my neighbor by Jesus teaching, a resident of a neighborhood nearby my own, a woman whom I never met but whose memory will never leave me.

Albany cops: woman starved her elderly mother
Staff reports
Last updated: 4:53 p.m., Thursday, April 24, 2008

ALBANY — A Albany woman was arrested today after a grand jury indicted her allegedly letting her 78-year-old mother starve to death in January, Albany police said.

Carol Adams, 47, of 18 Crestwood Court was charged with second-degree manslaughter, criminally negligent homicide and endangering the welfare of an elderly person.

The investigation was launched Jan. 16 after emergency workers found Beth Adams in her bed with no pulse. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

An autopsy showed the woman died from “profound malnutrition,” police said.

Relatives told police that the elderly woman had been living with her daughter for an extended time and that the younger woman was supposed to be providing care.

But police said the Carol Adams instead failed to provide “the minimal amount of nutrition” her mother needed to survive.

The most difficult cases that come before the grand jury are the ones involving “special victims” – children, the disabled and the elderly. These people are supposed to be given special care, protection and respect, but it is a dark reality that these most vulnerable are often used, abused, and ignored. This is a painful look into the culture’s soul.

The hurts perpetrated against these whom society ought to give special care and respect are so painful to all of us. When the defenseless are left without ordinary champions, without cultural value, it diminishes us all. Once they are hurt, they can not, in fact, be restored by the justice the system metes out. Yes, if all goes well someone will be punished, but the damage to the child, to the elder, to the incapacitated can not be undone – it has already further darkened our cultural soul.

Most of us can live with the peripheral knowledge that “these things happen” and we become disturbed and distressed only when it comes to the forefront of our attention. If we’re honest, we see these stories on the news and we breathe something like “thank God that didn’t happen to my child/aged parent” or, worse, “thank God I could never do something like that.” We forget it as quickly as we can after that.

But you know what? We’re responsible for these people, even when we don’t know them. These are our neighbors, members of our community, and they need us to pay attention to them and offer them the kind of protection being known brings us all.

Knowing and being known are the best deterrent to abuse that ever existed. God Almighty designed it that way, and the Holy Trinity models it for us. It takes a communal, interdependent existence to bring out all of our strengths, and protect us all from our weaknesses. The soul of our culture is blackened by independence, by isolation, by self-centeredness… these are the antithesis of community and the breeding ground of abuses of every kind.

For those who are followers of Jesus Christ our highest calling is to demonstrate His love and self-sacrifice by loving others as we are loved by him – known, completely and called to holiness. There is a passage in Roman 12, from verses 9-21, which explain:

⁹Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹²Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Combined with the teaching in Jesus parables that all are our neighbors, Romans 13:10 concludes “Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

As I’ve asked the youth I’ve had the honor of walking with in discipleship over the years, what would change in the world if we truly lived this out? The answer? Just about everything. Even culture’s dark soul.

note: this post is in memory of Mrs. Beth Adams.
see the link in the comments for more.

I live in a city where recycling of food cans, plastics and paper is required.  The city provides a special bin and a load of rules about the practice.  Yesterday, on Earth Day (ironically), I heard a disturbing account that those cleaned and sorted, bundled and flattened recyclable items are taken to the very same under-expansion landfill as our non-recyclable trash.

If true, this is outrageous.  I’ll be looking into it for sure.

YSJay posted about the video below on twitter, saying

Wow, talk about being gifted – Great video to talk about our gifts & abilities with teenagers- Thanks Steve Case.

I have to confess, I’m not a reality TV fan so when I saw the video was from the April 12, 2008 edition of Britain’s Got Talent (the UK version of American Idol, complete with Simon), I almost didn’t watch. I’m glad almost doesn’t count, this is a fantastic story. And, yes, it will preach volumes of good things about living for Jesus through all that life brings.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-j9B-eqJpo]

You go, Andrew, give Him all you’ve got!

On the left, the weeping cherry is in blossom, while the right shows the beginning of what will be red tulips (you can click for larger photos). Spring is here in my backyard… finally.

Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

No joke, that.

My hubby has studied martial arts since high school. First he studied kenpo karate, then took up a different style called taekwon-do when he was stationed with the Air Force in Turkey 16 years ago. Because he was away from the kids and I, he was able to begin as a white belt and complete his black belt by the end of his remote tour. He held onto advancing as a goal as we moved from station to station, and then back home, through busy lives and all that brings. He worked out on his own because there was no instructor in his style any closer than Brooklyn, NY, where he would travel whenever possible for a Saturday class, and he kept in touch with his instructor from Incirlik AB in Turkey. He also established his own school, Victory Taekwon-do, teaching classes for children and adults in our church basement on Wednesday evenings.

On April 4 he tested for his next advancement to II Dan, what might commonly be called a second degree black belt. He completed the test of forms and patterns, ho sin sol or self-defense routine, and breaking. The video of the breaking portion of his test is below. The first break is 5 boards with a side kick, the second is 4 boards with a downward punch, the third is 2 boards suspended with a flying downward kick.

[googlevideo:http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3149199647671277483&hl=en]

The moral of the story? He’s a tough guy, don’t mess with him!

Getting the family situated for the last leg of our trip home from what has been a terrific (and much-needed) spring vacation together.  It’s been fun, relaxing, in some ways puzzling, and fantastic to be outside of our normal routine.  Momentarily, we’ll leave and grab some breakfast before driving the last 250 miles to home. I’ll have some interesting pictures and much more when I’m not on the hotel’s weak wireless signal.