the intersection of life and grace

A federal appeals court offered up a disturbing bit of Constitutional reinterpretation this week regarding the free speech rights of students. The decision also erodes the rights of parents by saying that saying that schools have “a responsibility… to teach students the boundaries of socially appropriate behavior.”

The case involves a high school student who wrote a blog post expressing frustration with school administration over a special event, and encouraging other students to write the administrator with their opinion about the event as well. Weeks later the post came to the attention of the school administrator, who enacted discipline of the student, namely, preventing her from running/serving in a class elected office. The student’s mother filed suit claiming the student’s free speech rights had been violated. The Hartford Courant article says:

The case originated in a dispute last spring about the Burlington school’s Jamfest, a battle of the bands that Doninger helped coordinate. Frustrated that it was not going ahead as planned, Doninger wrote on her livejournal.com Weblog that “Jamfest is canceled due to the douchebags in central office.” She encouraged others to write or call Schwartz “to piss her off more.”

[article snipped]

The disruption the blog post caused, the court wrote, included students getting riled and administrators receiving phone calls and e-mails that made them miss or come late to school-related activities.

Whether or not one agrees with the ability of the school to discipline a student for criticism of school administration is not the issue which concerns me about this court decision. She was expressing her opinion outside of school. If I wrote similar criticism, my freedom of expression is protected speech because I am an adult. I don’t have to like, or agree with what this student said, think it was a good idea for her to say it or even like the effect of her words, to feel strongly that she has a Constitutionally protected right to freedom of expression.

This is a dangerous precedent to set. Essentially, the court has ruled that school administrators’ rights to ensure order within the school walls trump those of students’ right to freedom of expression anywhere. As I mentioned above, this erodes the rights of parents by giving schools the power to discipline children for actions outside of school that may affect “order” within the school. Think about that. Do we want school administrators to be the arbiters of discipline for our student’s speech, writing and behavior anywhere? Do we want the courts to, ironically, limit the expression of students whom they have said are able to be responsible for their sexual preferences, reproductive choices, and even decide which gender they are? What’s next? Will the courts decide that religiously motivated expression outside of school – such as speaking out about creation v. evolution, or blogging against abortion – is also disruptive to order within the school (disruption of order is the standard set by the Equal Access Act of 1984, which allows student religious organizations to exist with the same benefits and responsibilities as other extracurricular clubs)? How can this change the rights of students to participate in the political discussion? Myriad potential complications come to mind when considering this statement:

The court said there was no Supreme Court precedent to rely on in a case in which the expression does not occur on school grounds or at a school-sponsored event.

“We have determined, however, that a student may be disciplined for expressive conduct, even conduct occurring off school grounds, when this conduct ‘would foreseeably create a risk of substantial disruption within the school environment,’ or at least when it was similarly foreseeable that the off-campus expression might also reach campus,” the appeals court wrote.

Again. I’m not saying that what this student did was the wisest choice. But, because the court considered the potential impact of her speech in her status as a high school student, the freedom of expression of all students is at risk. These are not variables applied to limiting the expression of adults except in the most extreme of potential dangers, or unless agreed to contractually by the individual. This decision broadens the scope of school administrators to oversee that which occurs outside of their institutions.

What do you think about the ramifications of this decision to limit the freedom of expression of students?

A few things on my fingertips this sunny Thursday:

This morning’s readings were simply awesome in combination. While I generally read them, I don’t usually have that cumulative wow reaction.

The photo to the right is from my back yard. See the bumble bee busy at work? (click for larger photo)

Tim got a great job yesterday. He’ll be working as a mac specialist at the Apple store in Crossgates Mall, and no, he can’t give you an iphone… or an ianything else. He goes tomorrow to fill out all the employment paperwork and arrange training dates.

I’m super excited for my friend and fellow-YMX owner Adam, who’s landed a tailor-made position for his giftedness at Youth Specialties. Lots of fun and excitement in store there! If you think of it, pray for Adam and Kristen (and their really cute kids) as they make the transition from church staff life in Romeo, MI to the new gig in San Diego, CA. I know they’d appreciate it (especially for the sale of their house).

Last night’s Mets game was full of energy and grit, like the team played last season before September. That was two nights in a row. I don’t know if it’s “a turn around” but I sure hope there are more games like that and fewer like the majority of this season to-date! If you want to see highlights, video is here.

Cathie’s started physical therapy after the long-awaited orthopaedic appointment to check out the click in her shoulder and crunch in her knee. Prayers for effective treatment of them both (each having to do with misalignments and muscle tightness), decrease of pain, and the ability to train for swimming.

Like a lot of people, I’m fairly disgusted about gas prices and how they are impacting the prices of everything else. I check the local average prices a few times a week to see if there is a “good” price at a station on a route I need to travel. This morning, the local area’s average price is stable (for the first time in a while) at $4.07/gal, compared to $3.15/gal a year ago. I’ve noticed a few oddities lately, too, like Mobil stations which are always $.10-.15/gal higher aren’t always higher anymore. In fact, the high prices are pretty even across the board. One bit of trivia I learned today, though, has me really annoyed! Did you know that in NY state, there are between $.59 and .67/gal in taxes (varies by county fuel sales tax). We’re third in the nation in gas taxes behind CA and CT… what a deal. :/

I’ve got a pile of great stuff to finish writing and a bunch of follow-up to do for YMX! I need to get to work on it!

Seth Godin makes me think. He’s the brilliant marketer’s marketing guy, and today on his blog he posted an insightful bit about anger. Of course, he’s talking about it from the marketing perspective, angry customers aren’t going to go anywhere on the relationship curve while they are angry. He offers the following:

I have two suggestions for dealing with angry folks:

1. Sometimes, you can just avoid them. You can choose not to work with angry people. Just move on. There are plenty of non-angry people out there.
2. You can acknowledge the anger and understand that until you make the anger go away, all responses are going to be off the charts and completely useless to you. The opportunity in working with an angry person is that you can somehow turn that angry person into a non-angry one… and from there, move them up the curve to a relationship you both value. The mistake marketers make all the time is that we believe that moving the person up the curve is the next step. It’s not. No one moves while they’re angry.

In ministry-world I don’t see a lot of healthy use for suggestion #1, while there are certainly good business applications. Choosing not to deal with angry people does have to happen sometimes, but it isn’t the ideal in a ministry context. Rarely, and it should be rare, a relationship is broken when anger either doesn’t abate, the anger is wielded in ways that are sinful (dishonest, destructive), or the conflict can’t be resolved between the parties and/or the community. This is an undesirable end in ministry; it must be a carefully considered (according to Biblical principles) and prayed over situation because relationships are so valuable.

Suggestion #2 has the most application in ministry, I think. Acknowledging anger, listening to a person and allowing the emotional flood to subside to a place where resolution can happen is, I believe, a part of God’s design for emotions. Anger is a most-powerful emotion, and it earns special warning in scripture about how it is to be used,

²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.²⁵Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Anger, rightly handled, certainly can make a point. It can be used to catalyze change. I see that demonstrated in Jesus’ own anger as he turned over the money-changers tables in the temple courts. He was angry the temple had become a place to cheat people, his point was clearly understood.  That shows is that anger, in and of itself, is not a sin. In our human nature, susceptible to our own desires and priorities, we so easily fail to put our anger to constructive, positive use. In Christian community it is important to teach healthy, Godly ways to express the source of our anger, rather than force it to be relegated inward to leach out as gossip, bitterness and destruction.  I see so many applications for this in ministry!  Young people, marriages, leadership… who wouldn’t benefit from handling emotions, especially anger, in a more Godly way?!

Communities that are about transformation could take a huge leap by giving anger it’s proper place as a God-given emotion signaling hurt, injustice, oppression, teaching and supporting members of the Body of Christ in “putting off the old self” and express anger appropriately, and allowing anger to be a catalyst for communication, change, reconciliation by the ministry of forgiveness.

Today I came across a journal page where I’d done some word research on the word memorial, probably for a sermon or a paper.  I think it jumped out at me because it’s Memorial Day and for many people that simply means a day to open the pool or a nice long weekend to have time with family and friends.

One bit I copied onto the page says that memorial is extracted from the Late Latin word memorialis, which means “belonging to memory.”  That strikes me as the place where the living and the dead are still a part of one another; they are there in our memories, we are part of their story.  It seems simple, I know, but it feels profound to me that those who have put themselves in the gap between dictator’s armies and the oppressed, who stand ready to protect the free will God gives his creatures from misuse, who pull victims of nature’s wrath from the midst of destruction and give them care and a meal, belong in our national memory for their willingness to do these difficult and dangerous tasks.

Today is for us to enjoy, yes.  It is also for those who belong to our national memory – the 4,083 who have died in Iraq to date, and those many from conflicts past each of whom accepted the call to go knowing it could mean losing their life to the cause.  You belong to us.  You are a part of our memory.  You will not be forgotten.

“The national church has gone off the rails,” said Torre Bissell, a lay person who runs a diocesan intercessory ministry and has asked on a blog (post from 5-19-2008) that people pray for passage of both measures.

The Schenectady computer consultant added, “I don’t know that there’s ever been any place in Scripture where marriage was not between a man and a woman. It’s always been between a man and a woman, and the current culture is trying to change that.”

The Times Union’s Marc Parry is writing about the business of the church again, with the it’s all about sex slant. Nothing like helping to stir up controversy. Of course, “it” is the church’s teaching and policy about marriage and the reason “it” has come up are proposed changes to the Diocese of Albany’s canons (essentially, officially operating policies) regarding marriage, and the ordination of clergy. Read the text of the proposed changes in this post – EDOA Refining Canons on Marriage, Ordination.

Seriously, this isn’t about sex at all. It’s not about infringing on someone’s rights at all. It’s about the long-standing teaching of the church that marriage is between a man and a woman. It’s about expecting clergy to be married according to church teaching or be celibate according to church teaching for all unmarried people. Never mind that this has long been the teaching and policy of this diocese. These canon revisions simply and clearly state what the policy already is. It doesn’t exclude anyone. It doesn’t tell anyone whom they can or cannot be attracted to. It does state the expectations of the bishop for the conduct of marriages in his diocese according to his apostolic responsibility to “guard the faith, unity, and discipline of the Church” (Book of Common Prayer, p 517). It also calls leaders to model the biblical teaching that they are to be faithful in marriage and celibate in singleness. That’s the call to all married and single Christians!

But, as I’m sure we’ve all seen a thousand times, changing the terms of the discussion to sex and discrimination makes for more emotional convention business meeting arguments (and better, if inaccurate headlines). I’m praying for the adoption of these canonical revisions clarifying the existing policy in the EDOA and the long-standing teaching of the Christian church. I’m praying for Bishop Bill Love, and I’m praying for the clergy and deputies to the convention. Most importantly, I’m praying for clarity in the hearts and mind of those voting and seeking to influence the voting; that they will see and understand that this is not a rule change with which to hurt, persecute or discriminate, but a clear statement of current standards and teachings in the church.

The past week has been full of graduation events, plus a picnic celebrating Tim’s graduation and Cathie’s 16th birthday.  It’s been an amazing and exhausting few days!

Here’s one graduation day photo:

You can see some from all the events here.

We just received word that the teenager who had chosen Tom’s sister and her husband to adopt her baby girl, who was due to be born any day, has changed her mind and will keep the child. We’re crushed because Noreen and David are wonderfully equipped to be parents; because we had already accepted this baby into our hearts; because… there are so many reasons. This just hurts. I understand the bond she feels with the baby. I understand the bond they feel with the baby.

Please pray for Noreen and David. Please pray for the child that they will receive into their family when the time is right. Please pray for the young woman who will now keep and raise her baby girl, giving thanks for her choice of giving the child life.

Tonight was the Baccalaureate Mass for Tim’s graduating class. It was great to see so many of his friends and their families. At the end of the service, each graduating son escorted his mother to the front and presented her with a gold or purple rose. In the reception, each family was given a framed keepsake featuring their senior portrait, their embossed name and a pencil rendering of the school, along with a poem about mothers and sons.

I came across this website thanks to my twitter habit – it’s the home of a goal setting challenge called 101 things in 1001.  From their getting started page:

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

I am a huge fan of long-term goal setting.  Although recent life experiences have required me to shorten my sights for the sake of my family, this may in fact be the challenge I need to get my ‘Inner planner’ on track with my present reality in view.

Are any of you doing this?  I’d love to know, and hear about your experiences.

Transitions happen all the time. We move from one activity to the next all day, no matter how many activities there are. There are planned transitions, and unplanned ones from those we call interruptions (because they aren’t on our carefully made to-do lists), and there are unplanned transitions we could call surprises or consequences that can even monumentally alter the course of life. Of course, there’s a complete range in between.

Some folks do transitions well (in fact, I even know some people who thrive on change and look to create it wherever and whenever they can – it’s both cool and a little disconcerting!).  Some people don’t like change but handle it, some just aren’t able to accept unplanned change at all. Most people have been in the ‘done well’ and ‘done alright’ categories at one point or another, with a couple of tough changes thrown in for truly tragic circumstances. Then, there are folks who consistently handle changes poorly, offering arguments, resistance, rage, the silent treatment, and hold grudges toward whomever they can find to blame the reasons for change upon. This latter category of folks miss out on a lot of good in life, a lot of the good that comes from change, a lot of the joy of the life adventure.

Fearing or rejecting change, fighting it and harboring bitterness toward those who are also experiencing (or accepting, or enacting) another aspect of the same change is at best a deterrent to spiritual growth, and at worst a deadly spiritual poison. It affects every aspect of a person, including relationships, emotional health and can even have physical symptoms.

The remedy is a simple plan, but one that is not always easy to implement. Forgiveness. Honestly, it’s not always easy to begin to forgive, but it is always worthwhile, always life-giving to forgive.  I’ve had to learn that others’ reactions are up to them, that my actions and reactions are up to me.  I want to take others’ intentions into account, but I can’t if they won’t communicate them to me for whatever reason.  I am left with the need to forgive without the opportunity to understand.  That’s the hardest situation of all, but it’s the calling, isn’t it?  To forgive as we’ve been forgiven by Jesus – not by others, but by the savior of humanity who lived and died to bring forgiveness and reconciliation.

Among humans, forgiveness is always an option, it is one that must be chosen.  I’ve had the difficult opportunity many times to practice choosing forgiveness when the door to reconciliation has been closed to me.  Honestly, it involves choosing to release the emotions and thoughts without answers to questions, without understanding, and it is hard to do… to let go in that environment is soulfully dissonant.  To fail to let go is soulfully destructive.

I keep coming back in my thoughts to ‘forgive AS you’re forgiven’ and it just blows my mind.  Looking at how we’re forgiven shows us what that AS means…

• with sacrifice
• with mercy
• with grace
• with intent
• with knowledge
• with love
• with no record keeping
• with self-control

Just to name a few!  I’m not perfect at this, not by a long way, but it’s my goal to release into God’s care the hurts and insults, the perceived slights and the upending choices, and to practice forgiving each and every time these unwanted and uncontrollable transition remnants rise within me.  Every time.  I can honestly say that because of this, I bear no unaddressed ill-will, no unforgiveness, toward any person that I know of – if it’s there, I pray God will make me aware so that I can get about it.  I have a friend who always says ‘I wish I could’… to which the only reply is stop wishing and get doing.  Being human, it’s clear to us all that life and relationships change in a moment, but practicing forgiveness is a thought-by-thought choice to hold on or let go.  It’s a practice that did, does, and will change the world.  That’s the kind of transition my soul longs for.