Hurry up and wait has been a recurring theme for us for the past year or so, and I’ve begun to feel that ‘wait’ is a curse to us, as it causes a range of other stresses like pain, suffering, doubt, struggle, inconsistency, even separation and loneliness. Thus far, it has been difficult to identify a good thing brought about by this kind of waiting – not that there isn’t any good, it has just been elusive as yet.
Waiting is a built-in part of the medical system, and though I know we have quicker access to tests and specialists than those in places with socialized medicine in place, it takes so long to get an appointment that will last only a short time and may not produce any answers. The time we’ve spent waiting to get normal back, the time we’ve spent waiting for specialists, for test results, for healing, for answered prayers, have mostly produced more opportunities to wait.
Of all the difficulties, it is the separation and loneliness produced by the length of time we’ve been dealing with these various trials that are the hardest of all. I know that there are people praying everywhere, it’s not that we are forgotten in that important sense. It’s even hard to find the right words to express what has happened, but one thing I’m sure about is that God has not called us to separation and loneliness in the midst of our family’s suffering.