Wearing

I haven’t updated on Tim in quite some time. This reality is due in large part to the fact he was doing fairly well. Fewer tremors, decreased medication.

Then, two days ago, a afternoon of tremors at school. Yesterday, he awakened shaking and tremored much of the day. I became convinced he was sick, though there were no “symptoms” other than the tremor’s resurgence. To the doctor today – tonsilitis.

Tim has never had tonsilitis before, ever. It is predominent among 3-to-7-year-olds, and is rarely bacterial. Tim is 17, and this is a bacterial infection. More antibiotics. More missed school. More suffering, and now potential surgery to eliminate the problem (though that wouldn’t occur until summer).

I’m feeling weary. I want to help him, but I can not. He wants to be “normal” and do the things he should be – driving, being with friends, working. He’s been sick for a year.

Psalm 86

1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.

3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.

4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.

5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.

6 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.

7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.

9 All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.

10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
men without regard for you.

15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your maidservant.

17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Amen.

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